Begin and Begin Again (a title totally stolen from Denny Emerson's book by the same name)

Lately, I have been taking short cuts, over-filling my life and burning the candle at both ends. You'd think I'd learn! I mean, if cancer and the recent shitstorms I just survived didn't teach me anything ... what will???

Turns out, I CAN learn ... it just takes me a little longer than some. I am that child that touches the hot stove ad nauseum - my mother's voice ringing 'No' in ears - expecting a different outcome each time. It's both the very definition of insanity, AND the bright optimism of hope at the same time!

It's not always easy being me ... but has it been worthwhile? A thousand times, YES!

So here I sit, tippy-tap-typing away, at my long-lost friend Elizabeth's place in Montreal; gathering strength to re-launch my life post bankruptcy, divorce, homelessness, cancer, chemo and covid, and I have to tell you - you don't have to worry about me so much anymore! As I begin again, I have a few things figured out ...

FINALLY, I have taken the necessary measures to trim down my life and the multitude of directions I am headed in, so this kind of burn out becomes a thing of my past. Leading up to this moment was what I like to think of as 'the final push'. The baby has crowned. And as long as this little sucker doesn't get stuck at the shoulders, we should be good from here!

The last thing I did before embarking on this journey was to prepare EVERY EXTRANEOUS THING I OWN - every last brush, saddle and hoof pick - to sell at auction. I am not only letting go of my THINGS ... but also of any previous notion I had to own an Animal Assisted Learning Centre and take care of my aging parents, their animals and the crumbling infrastructure of the farm. Of course, my parents never ASKED me to do any of those things, so it was always a little complicated ... but the point is - I let go of A LOT! A metric fuck-tonne, by my estimation; which is exponentially larger than a metric shit-tonne, by the way. ;)

My life going forward (which is really the ONLY way to go) will be much lighter. I am giving up some of the things I am interested in, to focus on how I can best serve my purpose AND enjoy life AT THE SAME TIME!

I know - its a novel idea and a lot to ask for, but I figure, what have I got to lose?

Absolutely nothing, apparently! And in case you are wondering, it feels good.